Hello all. Please forgive me; I am delirious from this horrible case of insomnia! It's not like I have anything I HAVE to do or anywhere I HAVE to go so I should be sawing wood right now (snoring). Sawing wood and snoring? Well, my old roommate once told me that I snore so loud the vibrations would shake her as if she was holding a chainsaw...Hmm, I wonder if that's why she moved out. I know a lot of you probably wouldn't admit that you snore, well, I'm gonna put myself out there..I snore...I know, I am a woman of small packaging but I got a snore that can pack a punch! Sometimes my snore awakens me. Startled, I sit straight up in my bed looking around to see who is in my room..Nope. No one, just me. I had a boyfriend one time wake me up with the TV blasting. He asked me if I could stop breathing so loud so he could hear the TV. What do you say to that?...Hmm, I wonder if that's why he moved out. I've been to the doctors and found that snoring could be hereditary! What the heck?! My father and my mother both rattle windows and bring down walls with their almighty snore! I never had a chance! Well, as of now, I don't have a roommate or a boyfriend..I think I will try one of those Breath Rite Strips then maybe my neighbor will stop calling the police on me for disturbing the peace.
just a thought...I saw a guy with a shirt today that read: The easiest thing to be is...YOURSELF!
If that is the case then why does it take so much courage? Let me know what you guys think.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The Boycott is Over
Hello All,
First, I would like to thank you all for your sweet comments. I love you guys. Second, I would like to wish everyone a happy New Year. I know it's a little late, however, I'm thinking you will forgive me in light of everything that has been going on.
So, as most of you know I was trying to fight the power (literally) and decided that I wasn't going to use my SMUD (electricity) at all, well, as little as I could. It was rough but I survived! I got my first SMUD bill today and it was only 16.53 dollars!!!
I stuck it to the man! Even though he didn't notice that he didn't get that extra 13.46 of my dollars they usually pre-bill me for. It's okay cause I won and it was a true test of my strenght or a display of how stuborn I can really be. Who knows... I'm gonna go turn on my heater..I'm cold!
First, I would like to thank you all for your sweet comments. I love you guys. Second, I would like to wish everyone a happy New Year. I know it's a little late, however, I'm thinking you will forgive me in light of everything that has been going on.
So, as most of you know I was trying to fight the power (literally) and decided that I wasn't going to use my SMUD (electricity) at all, well, as little as I could. It was rough but I survived! I got my first SMUD bill today and it was only 16.53 dollars!!!
I stuck it to the man! Even though he didn't notice that he didn't get that extra 13.46 of my dollars they usually pre-bill me for. It's okay cause I won and it was a true test of my strenght or a display of how stuborn I can really be. Who knows... I'm gonna go turn on my heater..I'm cold!
 |
| From me |
Friday, December 29, 2006
To My Sister
Hey Michelle,
You know I miss you so much. I wonder if you would be disappointed in me for the way I've been carrying on. I cry all night, don't get out of bed, and my mood switches between angry and sad. The day you told me you had cancer I instantly thought to myself "okay, let's do this". I started making all kinds of arrangements to be sure that you would be taken care of and be surrounded by love. At the same time I could feel this heaviness in my heart cause I've watched you go through this before and I cried. I cried cause I didn't want to see you go through that again but remembered how much of a champ you were the first time. I just knew you wouldn't fall anything short of triumphant. Your doctor called me to inform us that you had less than 48 hours. I was in deep denial. He didn't know how strong you were or God's plans. I held on to hope with both hands and all of my heart. There was no way I was gonna loose my only sister even when I saw you on life support. The doctor informed us that you were going to pass with or without the breathing machine within 48 hours. Now there were decisions to be made. Were we to keep you on life support in hopes that the doctor was wrong or do we give you some dignity and let you find comfort in your last hours. Man, Michelle you have no idea how hard this was for me. Every time I held on tighter to hope it seemed as though the more it slipped away. I'm not sure if you remember our last conversation in the hospital. You let me know while you were in a morphine daze that you knew your whole family was there with you. I was so excited to be able to talk to you and you understand. That night we went back to your apartment ,instantly, I drop to my knees with my heart so wide open and humble knowing that there was nothing I could do to help you. I cried out to our Merciful Lord to perform a miracle. I prayed til sun up. The next day I pulled the sheets over my head because I didn't want the sun to shine, I didn't want the birds to sing, or to hear anyone laugh or see smiling. My heart was broken and I wanted the world to STOP because you were not a participant that day. I wanted to yell out " STOP!!! MY SISTER IS DYING!!"Michelle, this feeling is like my first heart break happening a million times within a second. While I was in your hospital room God did perform a miracle. He stopped your suffering and carried you home. I was there to hold your hand through this transition and I am beyond grateful for that. You always held my hand through my first times in life and now I get to be there for you. We couldn't have been better sisters than we were. We got on each others nerves and I played the bratty little sister role to perfection but you never seemed to mind. We had more good times and lazy days than bad ones. Actually, today, I wouldn't mind having a bad day with you. I would take any kind of day with you. I just want you to know that you are my best friend. You know a lot of people love their sisters and don't like them. I'm glad we liked each other and enjoyed our time together. You have so much love here Michelle, but I know that God loves you more. Words are too weak to describe my gratitude. You were a wonderful woman. You made friends every where you went and a smile that was just as big and bright as the sun. Everyone I know talks about your smile...It was beautiful. I pray at night for God to send you my love. I know you receive it because when I was cleaning out my closet the next day I found an envelope that said "I love you sister" in your handwriting. I know that love is the only thing that transcends and right now that has to be enough for me. You know the other day our business had it's first sell and I thought of you. How proud you would have been of me. Every day I think of you and I remember things you've said or your countless selfless acts. See, I'm still learning from you kindness and humility even in death. Tomorrow, I will try to be better. I will get out of bed and take notice of the day. I will honor your memory by living my life and enjoying every moment just as you did. I love you Michelle and don't worry I will stay in touch with your boys.
Your little sister,
Ney
In Loving Memory of My Sister Tonya Michelle Lesane-Bryant
5/11/1971-12/11/2006
You know I miss you so much. I wonder if you would be disappointed in me for the way I've been carrying on. I cry all night, don't get out of bed, and my mood switches between angry and sad. The day you told me you had cancer I instantly thought to myself "okay, let's do this". I started making all kinds of arrangements to be sure that you would be taken care of and be surrounded by love. At the same time I could feel this heaviness in my heart cause I've watched you go through this before and I cried. I cried cause I didn't want to see you go through that again but remembered how much of a champ you were the first time. I just knew you wouldn't fall anything short of triumphant. Your doctor called me to inform us that you had less than 48 hours. I was in deep denial. He didn't know how strong you were or God's plans. I held on to hope with both hands and all of my heart. There was no way I was gonna loose my only sister even when I saw you on life support. The doctor informed us that you were going to pass with or without the breathing machine within 48 hours. Now there were decisions to be made. Were we to keep you on life support in hopes that the doctor was wrong or do we give you some dignity and let you find comfort in your last hours. Man, Michelle you have no idea how hard this was for me. Every time I held on tighter to hope it seemed as though the more it slipped away. I'm not sure if you remember our last conversation in the hospital. You let me know while you were in a morphine daze that you knew your whole family was there with you. I was so excited to be able to talk to you and you understand. That night we went back to your apartment ,instantly, I drop to my knees with my heart so wide open and humble knowing that there was nothing I could do to help you. I cried out to our Merciful Lord to perform a miracle. I prayed til sun up. The next day I pulled the sheets over my head because I didn't want the sun to shine, I didn't want the birds to sing, or to hear anyone laugh or see smiling. My heart was broken and I wanted the world to STOP because you were not a participant that day. I wanted to yell out " STOP!!! MY SISTER IS DYING!!"Michelle, this feeling is like my first heart break happening a million times within a second. While I was in your hospital room God did perform a miracle. He stopped your suffering and carried you home. I was there to hold your hand through this transition and I am beyond grateful for that. You always held my hand through my first times in life and now I get to be there for you. We couldn't have been better sisters than we were. We got on each others nerves and I played the bratty little sister role to perfection but you never seemed to mind. We had more good times and lazy days than bad ones. Actually, today, I wouldn't mind having a bad day with you. I would take any kind of day with you. I just want you to know that you are my best friend. You know a lot of people love their sisters and don't like them. I'm glad we liked each other and enjoyed our time together. You have so much love here Michelle, but I know that God loves you more. Words are too weak to describe my gratitude. You were a wonderful woman. You made friends every where you went and a smile that was just as big and bright as the sun. Everyone I know talks about your smile...It was beautiful. I pray at night for God to send you my love. I know you receive it because when I was cleaning out my closet the next day I found an envelope that said "I love you sister" in your handwriting. I know that love is the only thing that transcends and right now that has to be enough for me. You know the other day our business had it's first sell and I thought of you. How proud you would have been of me. Every day I think of you and I remember things you've said or your countless selfless acts. See, I'm still learning from you kindness and humility even in death. Tomorrow, I will try to be better. I will get out of bed and take notice of the day. I will honor your memory by living my life and enjoying every moment just as you did. I love you Michelle and don't worry I will stay in touch with your boys.
Your little sister,
Ney
 |
| From My Sister |
In Loving Memory of My Sister Tonya Michelle Lesane-Bryant
5/11/1971-12/11/2006
Friday, December 1, 2006
Just The Way It Is
Most of you know I am always going through the motions with my hair! All I want is healthy hair. I've gone from a short tress to it being past my shoulders. I just can't get comfortable. My hair has been chemically treated since I was 11 years old. I tried to go natural once before, however I was single and trying to get a date and alot of black men in Sacramento don't like natural black women. Anyway, I was back to processed hair and had a few dates. Looking back on it now it was not worth it. So now here I am in full circle back to a natural look and not concerned whether black men like it or not. It's been about 6 months since I've had my hair staightened I cut the processed hair off at the end of May 2006 to only an inch and had it braided up since October. I've been wearing my afro out.Now that I'm older I can see how gorgeous my natural hair is and it's just how I want it, HEALTHY! I got a little over 5 1/2 inches of strong, soft, kinky, curly hair that I feel I have to reacquaint myself with. I don't put any heat to it I just keep it conditioned and groomed. Because it is 5 and a few inches tall I wear a head band and pack it down a little to give it some shape.I love it! No more dry brittle hair that breaks faster than it grows or using products that only make my hair LOOK healthy. I am using a hair growth formula and it grows close to an inch a month which is a lot for my type of hair. I comb it out and put two French braids in it before I go to bed so it doesn't hurt to comb it the next day. Oh, if you are a sista and you are thinking about going natural the one thing I wish someone would have told me was to purchase some detangling leave-in conditioner spray. It makes a huge difference.With all the changes I have taken my hair through, from haircuts that look like an accident to a million tiny braids that's a pain to put in and take out, I've learned to accept it just the way it is...
Now if I could only loose 15 pounds!!
I have pictures of my fro...I'll try to get them posted soon.
Now if I could only loose 15 pounds!!
I have pictures of my fro...I'll try to get them posted soon.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
The Boycott
Okay..Here's how it started. Back in April I switched apartments. I had to switch all my utilities over to my new address. I figured I would be efficient (okay lazy) and contact one of those services that will switch all your utilities for you. Everything worked out lovely until 6 months later. I get a bill from Smud for 253.00! Instantly, my vision of Christmas went up in smoke. I called Smud to find out what the ----. They quickly figured out the situation. I pay all my bills online and never bothered to notice that the Smud account I was paying had the same address as my previous apartment. The money will be returned but now my electricity in my current apartment is going to be shut off! So I asked them why not just use the money you are refunding to pay my current bill? The only explanation I got from Chad, the customer service guy, was we just can't do it that way. Oh, and he also informed me that the money will not be refunded for 30 days and I had to pay my current bill at one of their pay station! Why make this so hard for me? I was angry. I started thinking they could have made this easier, but no, they rather me sit in the dark, cold and alone! So I went down there to pay it and the whole time I was disgusted with myself. I would usually fight for my right and so on...But Smud, man, they hold all the power (pun intended) so I bowed down and did things their way. The next day I gave them a call, giving my receipt number ensuring payment and as I was hanging up Lisa, another Smud thrall, informs me that another bill has cut and I owe 29.99 for the month of DECEMBER!!! It's only November! So now, I'm heated! "WHAT?" I say. I haven't used any power for December! I pay smud based on an average of my monthly bills in advance! This means war! The fight is on...So for the month of December I will use as little electricity as I possibly can. I have already gone out to buy firewood, pulled out all my comforters for my bed, and my long wool tube socks! I boycott today! Some of you have already enlighten me of your thoughts about my boycott...You think I'm crazy, a little insane, because YOU think Smud isn't gonna notice my acts of defiance. And that's fine. But they will see that they will NOT get a total of 29.99 out of ME! And if you should visit me within the month of December dress in warm clothing please cause I will not be able to use the heater!
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